Recently, after I used the services of a masseuse with "extra services", I realised how badly I really need a "program" in order to recover. I have tried many of the 12 step groups available and even applied myself with fervent might and total surrender but to no avail. I realised also how bad my rage and anger had got especially around my sex addiction. Being married with children and being a sex addict is hard - especially the hurt I have caused myself and of course, others, time and time again, repeatedly, despite "warnings" from every aspect of my inner and outer being. It calls me back, it seems to call me home. But it takes me to a kind of hell really if I'm permitting myself to use a religious term. A place without hope, love or God.
So I decided to really tackle my anger issue first of all. And I attacked it with an amazing program by a guy in USA called Bill Fleeman who has written the book "Pathways to Peace - the Anger Management Workbook" --- and I can say when I've worked the program set out in Bill's book it has successfully, dramatically and powerfully assisted me in overcoming my addiction.
As my addiction to sex kept having a hold, so my anger and rage seemed to get worse. Although I don't know if they're connected - dealing with anger and rage I feel is a priority for me, because it is a very, very destructive form of addictive behaviour which I absolutely must deal with as first priority.
After this time I went to a prostitute, the next day I started putting together a program that will work for the sex addict who doesn't want a 12 step group approach neccessarily, but wants the effectiveness of the twelve steps AND an effective program of recovery. And who better to test it out on but myself. I cannot say that so far I have managed to stay off my addiction with my new program, but I'm 100% confident I can find a way to a meaningful life and happy destiny with the knowledge and experience I do have and the willingness to see it through and to have an open mind as to what others have been through to recover from this kind of problem.
That's all for now.
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2 comments:
I definitely think that anger and sex addiction are linked.
Any addiction is an effort to control an aspect of your life that you have difficulty with. Uncontrolled anger could be something that is difficult to control and is avoided by being sexual. Or it could be another coping mechanism for other things.
The more I work in my own recovery, the more I have grown to think that all aspects of my mental/emotional health are inter-related. "No man is an island" - well, no emotion is an island...
Hi Ken - may I recommend that you look out for the book by "Bill Fleeman" on Amazon called "Pathways to Peace, The Anger Management Workbook". It's a "chicken/egg - which came first" for me with rage/sex addiction. Anyway, it seems if I'm in my sex addiction and unchecked, anger seems sure to follow. Anyway tackling both seems a good approach. P2P is really useful resource.
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